Friends, Family, BBQ and Beer

First and foremost, I need it to be known that the most amazing and wonderful human being on the planet has asked me to marry him!  I’m not sure what I’ve done to deserve such a caring, selfless and loving man but boy do I thank my lucky stars EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. for him.  That being said…..

I’m getting’ married, bitches!

Ok ok ok….. I might be a little over the moon excited about marrying Jason.  Just a tad bit anyways.

This is a second marriage for both of us.  We have both been divorced over 8 years (our divorces were finalized exactly 2 months apart).  We have two separate households, routines, bills, kids, responsibilities, etc.  So, having a wedding isn’t necessarily something important to either of us.  Don’t get me wrong, we are incredibly excited and cannot wait to get married.  We just aren’t flashy people. My parents spent a small fortune on my first wedding.  That was a huge waste of money.  But I was young and wanted to feel like a princess even though I didn’t feel like one in my relationship.  Well, that is definitely not the case this time around.  Jason treats me like a queen.  And because of that, all I care about in this wedding planning business is becoming Mrs. Van and spending my life with him.  And basically, you can do that at the justice of the peace.

The day Jason and I say “I do” it will be about our two families coming together as one. That is what is truly important to us. Our kids are the only people who will be standing up for us. Akela (my future daughter) is my only bridesmaid (and coincidentally will be spoiled the rest of her life because I will finally have a daughter – I digress). Landon and Brayden will stand next to Jason. In fact, Landon is walking me down the ‘aisle’ and giving me away. (I write ‘aisle’ because it’s not much of an aisle as it is more of a graveled area of approximately 10-15 steps) The only reason we are having a wedding ceremony is for the kids. They deserve to be a part of our special day. It’s tough being a kid raised by your single parent without a lot of help from the other side. (And by help, I mean guidance, mentoring, communication, etc.) So, they deserve the party.

Our wedding isn’t going to flashy or lavish.  It isn’t going to be expensive.  But it is going to be filled with friends, family, bbq and beer.

The Un-Anniversary

women wears white and yellow tube strapless dresses holding white red and yellow bouquet
Photo by Blake Newman on Pexels.com

On this day, 15 years ago, I said, “I Do.”  I was 20 years old, 4 months pregnant and dressed in white (the irony, I know) when I walked down the aisle of the Station Chapel aboard MCAS Cherry Point.  As I walked down the aisle on my wedding day, with my daddy by my side, all my little girl dreams of being a Disney Princess on my wedding day had become a reality.  In front of 150 of our closest friends, my soon-to-be husband and I exchanged our vows and promised to love each other until ‘death do us part.’

Today I wish my ex-husband a Happy Un-Anniversary. 

We were married for seven years.   We had great times, we had bad times, but we mostly had good times.  That is how marriages work, right?  You can’t have one without the other.  Over time we figured out that as a married couple…. we kind of sucked.  But as parents…. we were pretty awesome.  So, after the divorce was finalized in August 2011, we ended up becoming better friends than we had been throughout our entire marriage.  Why?  Because we were both focused on making one little boy happy.  We weren’t focused on trying to control each other.  We weren’t tired anymore from trying to salvage what was left of our relationship.  We were finally happy.  Who’da thunk it? 

Well, our friendship only lasted a few years after our divorce.  But that’s ok.  He’s remarried now and I’m enjoying living the single mom life with my amazing 14-year-old son, crazy flock of backyard chickens, and two adorable golden retrievers.    

While my marriage didn’t last, my divorce did help shape me into the person you see today; a strong, capable, smart, and educated woman.      

So, Happy Un-Anniversary to Me!